Energy Department: Pumpkins cause global warming.

[TUMe]

http://inhabitat.com/pumpkins-cause-climate-change-says-energy-dept/

The great pumpkin is evil. Religious nuts said all along that Halloween is evil. The Justice Department is driving a stake through the heart of the Great Pumpkin. Some universities offer courses in dressing up as characters that do not offend. "Merry Christmas" is rude. Stores sell seasonal trees.

Wait, pumpkins are plants. I thought plants were good. Ah but pumpkins get thrown away and rot. That makes methane. Now I'm confused again. They have forced a bunch of food on school cafeterias. Schools are moving away from the new menus. Seems the kids don't eat the stuff and it rots. I guess that also makes methane also?

So it goes.

 

[aTUfan]

See. It's not people.

 

[lawpoke87]

So methane has 20 times the global warming effect as CO2. Does that mean that cattle contribute more to global warming than all man made CO2 emissions combined?

 

[rabidTU]

When I heard about this, I decided to take every pumpkin i could find and shoot them with my guns. What a mess they make. Pumpkin juice splattered everywhere! I now have done my duty for the environment.

 

[TUMe]

I haz thinked up a solution to the pumpkin crisis. Traditionally Christmas trees are often burned. Stay with me on this. We need to start a Bonfire of the Jack-O-Lanterns each year. This creates CO2 which is bad but not nearly as bad as CH4.

 

[noble cane]

See. It's not people.

no... but Soylent Green is....