OMG, national weather service reports indicate that a category 9 golden hurricane is wreaking havoc in the VI! Threes are raining down and no large platanus occidentalis is safe from it's wrath. So far, the home team has found safe shelter in a sturdy shaq. A number of pesky lynx rufus were lost in the initial storm surge and additional warnings have been issued to all groups of big cats and aggressive fowl to flee the area or be swept away.