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Worst Bad Movie?

HuffyCane

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Dec 25, 2004
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Alright, the season is dragging, so let’s chat on something useful.

I adore terrible movies. Movies so bad they are good.

You’ve got some obvious ones like Road House or Cobra or Over The Top. But then also obscure ones like any Sonny Chiba Kung Fu movie. Ed Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space is a classic. So is Faster Pussycat, Kill! Kill!

Fast and Furious 3: Tokyo Drift is a great one for about ten minutes. So is Trancers starring Helen Hunt in her first leading role.

I haven’t watched Repo Man in decades, but loved the soundtrack. I’ll be Digging that out this weekend.

Any other suggestions?
 
Any Steven Seagal movie, but hey, I watched 2 last night. Marked for Death is my favorite.
 
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Seagal is like Elvis. You either like him skinny or fat. Never both. Like Elvis, I prefer Seagal fat. Also like Elvis, he was at his peak when he didn’t yet realize he was fat.

Here’s one of my favorite scenes of him fighting fat with a credit card in Glimmer Man. Attack Force is probably my overall favorite. If you believe the hype, Seagal made a movie about fighting aliens, but the studio thought it was trash. So they overdubbed most of the dialogue and tried to make the story about super humans. They didn’t tell him they were doing it and the dubbing is horrendous. It did not impact your understanding of what is happening on film or your enjoyment of the picture. It truly is an epic tome of American culture. Kill Switch also solid.

 
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Come to thinI of it, we should just go through the entire Seagal filmography and rate them between 2* and 5* like recruits.
I preferred the older ones when he could actually move. He never could deliver a line and add that to him now being fat, his later movies are even less believable.
 
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Raising Arizona is my absolute all-time fave movie. I bet I’ve watched it 2 dozen times. Only movie I ever bought a dvd of.
 
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If you want to watch the King of existential raspberries, check out "The Forbidden Zone".

The cast includes Herve Villachaise doing it from behind(doggie style) to a Joan Crawford/Collins/bestie with MJ type.

Directed by Richard Elfman, soundtrack by Oingo Boingo. It's the Rockie Horror Picture lookalike but weirder. The sets are middle school play/little rascals level bad.

Then you can follow it up with Tank Girl.

Works better with Herb.
 
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For someone born in '84, its tough to beat Maximum Overdrive (AC/DC did the soundtrack), Raising Arizona, Repo Men, or Men at Work .
Repo Man 1984 release is a good one to watch for a birthday celebration. Cast of Emilio Estevez, Harry Dean Stanton, & Dick Rude. It's in the same kitchy vein as your other selections.
 
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Cloud Atlas was by far the worst movie i finished. I kept waiting and waiting for the good part to finally start and then the credits started rolling.
 
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Cloud Atlas was by far the worst movie i finished. I kept waiting and waiting for the good part to finally start and then the credits started rolling.
I don’t even think I’ve ever of that. It sounds like something out of Scientology or Ayn Rand cult folks.
 
"I Am a Groupie" (1970) with Eseme Johns and "The Last Rebel" (1971) with Joe Namath.
 
Don't lie, HK! I know you've got a copy of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. For the extras, of course!
Dammit, LEC! You are right! You reminded me of this, so turns out I wasn't accurate. I actually have owned 2 movies. Besides Raising Arizona, I had a 12-inch laserdisc (remember those?) of the 90's movie Sirens. It had a real sexy vibe, with Elle Macpherson. Yowza!!:p
 
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Dammit, LEC! You are right! You reminded me of this, so turns out I wasn't accurate. I actually have owned 2 movies. Besides Raising Arizona, I had a 12-inch laserdisc (remember those?) of the 90's movie Sirens. It had a real sexy vibe, with Elle Macpherson. Yowza!!:p
Such a good actress. I read Playboy/Hustler for the articles.
 
1. Running Man
2. Water World/Postman (tie)
3. Tango & Cash
Running Man wasn't awful if you know the source material.

Tango and Cash-dreadful. WaterWorld is unwatchable...Kevin Costner self-indulgent crap.

I'm a must stop and watch "Dude! Where's My Car" every time it's on TV. ZOLTAN!
 
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Damon Killian: There are still two crack stalkers out there. Dynamo and Fireball. Who do you think will make the next kill?

Elderly Lady: Oh, boy. That's a tough one.

Damon Killian: Come on. You can do it. Who do you think?

Elderly Lady: Okay, I think the next kill will be made by... Ben Richards.

Damon Killian: Agnes, Richards is a runner. You gotta pick a stalker.

Elderly Lady: I can pick anyone I choose. And I choose... Ben Richards. That boy's one mean mother...er.
 
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1. Running Man
2. Water World/Postman (tie)
3. Tango & Cash

Postman is so epically turrible. I love it. It’s the Shawshank of bad movies. You drop what you are doing if it’s on. The Tom Petty cameo kills me every time.

Starship Troopers is another favorite. I sad it in the theaters 20 times when it was out in 1998. There is so much silliness in it. The scene with the knife is just so freaking great.

I haven’t found it for some time, but Anthony Bourdain used to talk about Roadhouse in similar terms.
 
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Big Trouble in Little China

I watch it any time I see it on tv.
 
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