This is all in fun and pure fantasy so read on at your own discretion.
My 3rd cousin Billy Bob used to be married to Sharon Jean. After their divorce she had a child that was named Betty Jane. Betty Jane, although no blood relationship, looks after Billy Bob because he is in poor health, has no kids and she is hoping to inherit his 1973 yellow Ford Maverick with only 243,000 miles. Betty Jane dates a guy that is the midnight to 7 AM head cook at the Waffle House in west Tulsa. Betty Jane, out of the kindness of her heart brought Billy Bob a nice take out from WH for Thanksgiving since he is under house arrest for his 3rd DUI. Normally that wouldn’t stop him from going to the family gathering at Slick but the breath activation system on the car wouldn’t allow it to start. I wonder why?
Well when Betty Jane brought down the WH takeout she told Billy Bob that Lee Roy her boyfriend and head cook at WH told her he knew who TU would name as the new Head Coach! According to Betty Jane apparently on Tuesday (of course it had to be Tuesday) a guy came in to WH at 1:43 AM and he is wearing a TU hat. Lee Roy said he never “seen” anyone wear a blue TU hat into the WH. Based on that he “knows” the “dude’ must be connected to that place. He ordered the All-Star for his lady friend and the T-Bone steak and eggs for himself from the breakfast menu so they knew he had money.
It was slow so Lee Roy asks the guy about this TU hat he is wearing and why isn’t it red or orange like everyone else or at least John Deere green? The guy says he is a TU fan. There weren’t many people there that night just Lee Roy, Martha - the waitress, a couple of drunks soaking up the booze in their system with eggs and a guy in a cowboy hat that shows up now and again. The group was asking the guy in the blue hat about this TU place. He was trying to explain it to them but they weren’t sure it was a real place cause they never read about in the Tulsa World or the Sapulpa Herald! The blue hat guy assures them it is a real place and they even have a football team! The guy responds it over on 11th near Harvard! He tells them that the school has football games there 6 times a year and they should come and watch some time. He said once they get a new coach which should be soon that the football team will be much better. The blue hat guy then pays everyone’s check. It cost him near $75 with tip. Now Lee Roy knows for certain this guy must be rich and have a connection.
After the blue hat guy leaves, Lee Roy and the guy in the cowboy hat use Martha’s cell phone to do some research. The put in football coach at university near Harvard and sure enough they get the name Andrew Aurich. He is 8-2 and leading the IVY league even though they aren’t sure what type of league that could be. After discussion they decide it must be below the SEC, (Lee Roy then yelled “Boomer” and one of the drunks yelled “Sooner”, a fight almost ensued as the the guy in the cowboy hat yelled “Orange” and the other drunk yelled “Power”) and Big 12 but above the Magic Empire and Green Country Conferences.
So after hearing this story Betty Jane drives down to the Cum and Go for some smokes on the way to Billy Bob’s trailer between Kiefer and Mounds. She asked the guy sitting on the curb if he knew anything about TU? He belched scratched himself and passed out. Some guy getting out of Ford F450 overheard the conversation, you mean that school where all them foreigners from St Louis and Chicago go to school? Betty Jane guessed it was real and told him “she heard they had a new football coach”. The guy said he knew but based on local sports radio they probably would be hiring a local high school coach, maybe one from Kiefer. He said he knows a guy from Kiefer that went to that school and then he up and left for St Louis! Betty Jane said no it wasn’t a high school coach because they already got one. The guy asked who they got. She replied Andrew Aurich is at Harvard over by TU.
The guy goes into the restroom at the Cum and Go and starts talking to the guy at the next urinal. The second fellow goes by the name Scoop because he is a reporter at some newspaper. He tells Scoop, “I hear tell TU has a new football coach named Andrew Aurich”. Scoop leaves to do research.
Mean time Betty Jane has told Billy Bob. Billy Bob calls down to family dinner and tells all the relatives about a “new” TU coach. After 4 hours of talking OU and OSU football they have nothing else to say so one of them says don’t we have a cousin that went to TU? They call me and tell me the story. I found it interesting but didn’t put much credibility to it since I didn’t hear it from any of the posters on the TU Rivals board. Just in case I called a friend back in Tulsa and asked if he heard anything. He tells me that while listening to sports radio that Scoop says TU is going to hire either Andrew Aurich or the HC at Kiefer!
With that information I check with some posters from the board via private message. They contacted sources from “insiders” at the university, the football team, cheerleaders, former band members, a few ex-soccer, football and basketball players, people at QT headquarters, urinals in various restrooms across Tulsa and reported their findings back to me.
So now I can say with confidence that the next TU Head Football Coach will NOT be Andrew Aurich or any current HS coach.
I hope if you read this far you at least laughed a little.
My 3rd cousin Billy Bob used to be married to Sharon Jean. After their divorce she had a child that was named Betty Jane. Betty Jane, although no blood relationship, looks after Billy Bob because he is in poor health, has no kids and she is hoping to inherit his 1973 yellow Ford Maverick with only 243,000 miles. Betty Jane dates a guy that is the midnight to 7 AM head cook at the Waffle House in west Tulsa. Betty Jane, out of the kindness of her heart brought Billy Bob a nice take out from WH for Thanksgiving since he is under house arrest for his 3rd DUI. Normally that wouldn’t stop him from going to the family gathering at Slick but the breath activation system on the car wouldn’t allow it to start. I wonder why?
Well when Betty Jane brought down the WH takeout she told Billy Bob that Lee Roy her boyfriend and head cook at WH told her he knew who TU would name as the new Head Coach! According to Betty Jane apparently on Tuesday (of course it had to be Tuesday) a guy came in to WH at 1:43 AM and he is wearing a TU hat. Lee Roy said he never “seen” anyone wear a blue TU hat into the WH. Based on that he “knows” the “dude’ must be connected to that place. He ordered the All-Star for his lady friend and the T-Bone steak and eggs for himself from the breakfast menu so they knew he had money.
It was slow so Lee Roy asks the guy about this TU hat he is wearing and why isn’t it red or orange like everyone else or at least John Deere green? The guy says he is a TU fan. There weren’t many people there that night just Lee Roy, Martha - the waitress, a couple of drunks soaking up the booze in their system with eggs and a guy in a cowboy hat that shows up now and again. The group was asking the guy in the blue hat about this TU place. He was trying to explain it to them but they weren’t sure it was a real place cause they never read about in the Tulsa World or the Sapulpa Herald! The blue hat guy assures them it is a real place and they even have a football team! The guy responds it over on 11th near Harvard! He tells them that the school has football games there 6 times a year and they should come and watch some time. He said once they get a new coach which should be soon that the football team will be much better. The blue hat guy then pays everyone’s check. It cost him near $75 with tip. Now Lee Roy knows for certain this guy must be rich and have a connection.
After the blue hat guy leaves, Lee Roy and the guy in the cowboy hat use Martha’s cell phone to do some research. The put in football coach at university near Harvard and sure enough they get the name Andrew Aurich. He is 8-2 and leading the IVY league even though they aren’t sure what type of league that could be. After discussion they decide it must be below the SEC, (Lee Roy then yelled “Boomer” and one of the drunks yelled “Sooner”, a fight almost ensued as the the guy in the cowboy hat yelled “Orange” and the other drunk yelled “Power”) and Big 12 but above the Magic Empire and Green Country Conferences.
So after hearing this story Betty Jane drives down to the Cum and Go for some smokes on the way to Billy Bob’s trailer between Kiefer and Mounds. She asked the guy sitting on the curb if he knew anything about TU? He belched scratched himself and passed out. Some guy getting out of Ford F450 overheard the conversation, you mean that school where all them foreigners from St Louis and Chicago go to school? Betty Jane guessed it was real and told him “she heard they had a new football coach”. The guy said he knew but based on local sports radio they probably would be hiring a local high school coach, maybe one from Kiefer. He said he knows a guy from Kiefer that went to that school and then he up and left for St Louis! Betty Jane said no it wasn’t a high school coach because they already got one. The guy asked who they got. She replied Andrew Aurich is at Harvard over by TU.
The guy goes into the restroom at the Cum and Go and starts talking to the guy at the next urinal. The second fellow goes by the name Scoop because he is a reporter at some newspaper. He tells Scoop, “I hear tell TU has a new football coach named Andrew Aurich”. Scoop leaves to do research.
Mean time Betty Jane has told Billy Bob. Billy Bob calls down to family dinner and tells all the relatives about a “new” TU coach. After 4 hours of talking OU and OSU football they have nothing else to say so one of them says don’t we have a cousin that went to TU? They call me and tell me the story. I found it interesting but didn’t put much credibility to it since I didn’t hear it from any of the posters on the TU Rivals board. Just in case I called a friend back in Tulsa and asked if he heard anything. He tells me that while listening to sports radio that Scoop says TU is going to hire either Andrew Aurich or the HC at Kiefer!
With that information I check with some posters from the board via private message. They contacted sources from “insiders” at the university, the football team, cheerleaders, former band members, a few ex-soccer, football and basketball players, people at QT headquarters, urinals in various restrooms across Tulsa and reported their findings back to me.
So now I can say with confidence that the next TU Head Football Coach will NOT be Andrew Aurich or any current HS coach.
I hope if you read this far you at least laughed a little.
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